Walk through any high school, college campus, or Zoom tutoring session, and you’ll see the same pattern: students working harder and harder, but still feeling like they’re falling behind. Parents often respond by hiring subject-specific tutors—someone to explain calculus, review a history paper, or prep for the SAT.
But here’s the hidden truth: many of these students don’t need a tutor. They need to understand how their brain works through executive functioning coaching.
Executive Functioning: Not a Personal Failing
Executive functioning (EF) is the set of mental skills that help us manage time, plan ahead, prioritize, remember details, and regulate emotions. Think of it as the brain’s “management system.” Research shows EF skills are deeply tied to brain biology—especially networks involving the prefrontal cortex—not laziness or lack of effort (Best & Miller, 2010; Zelazo & Carlson, 2012).
When students struggle with procrastination, missed deadlines, or forgetfulness, they often assume (or are told) that it’s a character flaw. Parents might say, “Just apply yourself,” or “Buckle down.” But decades of cognitive science show that these messages don’t work because they don’t address the root cause (Barkley, 2012; Meltzer, 2018).
The Biology and the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Here’s the kicker: biology meets psychology in the form of cognitive distortions. A student who forgets a homework assignment doesn’t just think, “I forgot.” They think, “I’m lazy. I’ll never get this right.” This shame cycle shuts down motivation.
The antidote? Self-compassion. Research by Neff (2003) shows that students who treat themselves with kindness after setbacks are more likely to bounce back and use strategies effectively. When we free students from self-judgment, they can pivot and lean into tools instead of getting stuck in shame.
What Executive Functioning Coaching Actually Looks Like
An EF coach doesn’t just hand you strategies—they help you experiment with systems until you find what actually works for your brain. Some students need help learning how to take notes during a lecture; others need to track time more realistically. Some need strategies for breaking down big projects; others need to learn how to prioritize daily tasks.
In our groups and one-on-one executive functioning coaching, we use evidence-based tools such as:
- Kanban boards for visualizing workflow and progress (Anderson, 2010).
- The Eisenhower Matrix to distinguish between what’s urgent and what’s important.
- Body doubling—working alongside someone else—to improve focus (Hallowell & Ratey, 2021).
- Purposeful note-taking systems (Cornell, mapping, digital/analog hybrids) chosen to fit a student’s learning style (Meltzer, 2018).
We also emphasize working from strengths. Education isn’t about constantly correcting weaknesses; it’s about leveraging what comes naturally and scaffolding the rest.
Parents, This Part Is for You
We know the instinct to push your child harder. But if your student is already overwhelmed, more pressure won’t help. That’s why some of our student groups run alongside concurrent parent groups: to help you understand what your child actually needs. You’ll learn why “just do it” doesn’t work and what to say (and not say) when your child hits a wall.
The Shift That Changes Everything
When students learn to manage how they are put together, school stops feeling like a never-ending uphill battle. They realize they aren’t broken—they just need a different toolbox. Once the shame eases, learning becomes possible again.
So before you hire another tutor, ask yourself:
- Does my child really need help with algebra?
- Or do they need help managing time, remembering assignments, and staying organized enough to actually do the algebra?
Executive functioning coaching isn’t just for kids with ADHD. It’s for any student who needs structure, strategies, and support to thrive in today’s demanding learning environments.
