At The Parents and Children Project, there is a moment we witness again and again. It is a moment with a visible exhale.
A parent walks in with a child who has been labeled: too sensitive, too rigid, too loud, too quiet, too intense. A teenager who has been told they are “not trying hard enough,” despite the fact that they have likely been trying harder than anyone realizes. A college student who has spent years attempting to navigate institutions that were not constructed with their needs in mind. They arrive cautious, sometimes discouraged, often bracing for yet another encounter with misunderstanding.
And then, something shifts.
They sense our space operates differently.
That is what neurodiversity affirming care feels like. It is not performative. It is not a fashionable slogan. It is a clinical, ethical, and philosophical stance.
What Does Neurodiversity Affirming Support Really Mean?
To affirm neurodiversity is to recognize neurological differences as natural variations within the human population. These include autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, learning disabilities, and other forms of cognitive and sensory variation. They are not pathologies to be corrected, but expressions of the diversity of human experience.
This framework does not require individuals to suppress their natural tendencies in order to conform to neurotypical expectations. Rather, we co-create supports, insights, and interventions that work with, not against, the mind in the room.
At The Parents and Children Project, neurodiversity affirming support means:
- No interventions rooted in shame
- No reward systems aimed at reducing “autistic” traits
- No expectation to perform a neurotypical identity in order to belong
- No implication that anyone is broken
We support individuals in building the lives they want—on their terms, in their language, with their nervous systems as the starting point.
A Closer Look: Neurodiversity in the IEP Process
Recently, I sat in an Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting with a mother. These meetings, as many families know, can be exercises in bureaucratic navigation and emotional restraint. It is not that professionals and families are necessarily in opposition, though that occurs, it is that the system demands quantification of behavior and behavioral change in ways that often obscure the very child at the center of the conversation.
This meeting, however, was distinct. It was facilitated by a cohort of experienced, engaged, and clearly invested professionals. They listened attentively to the parent. They asked intelligent questions. They demonstrated both procedural competence and relational attunement. It was a rare and encouraging convergence of care and professionalism.
And then, one of them used the phrase “appropriate behavior.”
I felt my skin react. The mother stiffened as well. We exchanged a glance.
As a clinician, as a parent, as someone who has been the child criticized for having an “inappropriate” reaction, I cannot overstate my aversion to that term. I asked the mother quietly if she wanted me to address it. She nodded.
So I said something like this: “When we define behavior as appropriate or inappropriate, we apply a moral judgment to neurological differences. We risk implying that autistic individuals—and others with neurodevelopmental differences—are, by nature, wrong in how they express themselves. Historically, the use of that language has led to interventions that emphasize conformity over authenticity.”
Before I finished speaking, I saw it register. I watched as the team processed it. They did not process it defensively, but thoughtfully. They began reconsidering their language. They acknowledged the subjectivity of what is deemed “appropriate.” They revised goals with more precision and less judgment.
The remainder of the meeting followed that same spirit. The team made deliberate efforts to articulate goals that reflected the student’s identity, strengths, and needs, not in opposition to his neurology, but in collaboration with it. They were not attempting to remediate the child’s nature. They were trying to understand him.
And in that, there was relief. For the mother. For me. Perhaps even for the team.
What Neurodiversity Affirming Therapy Looks Like in Practice
This is a question we are often asked. What does it actually mean in clinical practice?
It means:
- Repetitive movement, or stimming, is not discouraged. It is welcomed as self-regulation.
- Silence is not awkward. We allow pauses. We wait. We do not rush to fill space.
- Scripting is not pathologized. It is communication and we honor it as such.
- Eye contact is never compulsory. Connection is not measured by gaze.
- Sessions are co-constructed. Agendas are visual, written, or co-created. Fidgets and sensory tools are standard.
- Sensory preferences are assessed and respected. Weighted blankets, headphones, and dim lighting are options, not afterthoughts.
- We inquire, rather than assume. No two autistic or ADHD individuals present identically.
- We name the realities of masking, burnout, and the double empathy problem. We do not ignore lived experience.
The goal is not to help someone “pass” as neurotypical. It is to support someone in understanding themselves, building adaptive strategies, and living in ways that are regulated, sustainable, and deeply congruent.
Why Neurodivergent-Affirming Mental Health Care Matters
Because for too long, neurodivergent individuals have been subjected to interventions that demand they be different in order to be acceptable.
They have heard:
“Try harder.”
“Just get organized.”
“You should know that by now.”
“You’re so smart—what’s the problem?”
That is not therapy. That is gaslighting.
Real therapy is attuned, collaborative, and honest. It honors the pace of processing. It centers the client’s reality. It builds trust slowly and relationally.
This matters because there are too many parents walking into schools and clinics unsure if their child will be understood or judged. Too many individuals who have spent decades internalizing the message that their natural instincts are a problem to be solved.
We reject that message.
Our Services: Therapy, Executive Function Coaching, and Advocacy for Neurodivergent Individuals
The Parents and Children Project offers more than therapy. We provide comprehensive, integrative care that reflects the complex reality of our clients’ lives.
Our services include:
- Individual and family psychotherapy
- Executive functioning coaching
- School collaboration and IEP consultation
- Sensory and environmental planning
- Parent coaching and systems navigation
Our team meets to discuss cases, share insights, and refine approaches. We do not operate in isolation because our clients do not live in isolation. Every service we offer is grounded in our core belief: people do better when they are seen clearly, understood deeply, and supported without precondition.
Client Testimonials: What Families Say About Our Neurodiversity Affirming Approach
“For the first time, someone saw my kid without a list of problems.”
“You helped us do it differently not by changing who he is, but by helping us understand how he works.”
“I finally feel like I can exhale after years of fighting for someone to see her.”
“This is the first place where we were not expected to apologize for how our child is wired.”
These are not scripted testimonials. They are the natural result of providing care that is grounded in respect, nuance, and clinical integrity.
Ready for Support That Honors Your Neurodivergence? Here’s How We Can Help
You are not alone. And you are not wrong for needing something different.
Whether you are a parent hoping your child can feel safe and confident in their own body, a young adult seeking support without condescension, or an individual long accustomed to masking who is now ready to unmask in safety, we are here.
You do not need to translate yourself.
You do not need to justify your nervous system.
You do not need to conform to be cared for.
We want to see you as you are. We believe you. We want to build with you.
